Discovering What You Want & Pursuing It
Over time, as we do life, it’s easy to get into auto pilot mode. Before we know it, we look up and discover that the things we are investing our energy into don’t actually match up to what we truly want. Many of us are making great progress with dreams that other people have given to us. The problem then comes when dissatisfaction knocks at out door reminding us that it’s time to shake things up! Time to go back and rediscover who we are and what we actually want.
Typically for me, there are particular points in the year where I shift into reassessment mode. That often happens around my birthday, the start of the year and then the middle of the year – which is where we are currently. The awareness that time is moving, whether we like it or not, hits home when you’re able to see that six months have gone by. This isn’t something that should send us spiralling into a depression, even though it can sometimes…but instead something we see as an opportunity to reset.
It’s comparable to being on a journey in a car and discovering an hour into it that you’ve taken the wrong turn or perhaps aren’t on the most efficient route. The best thing to do would be to figure out how to get back on the right path and then do so. Of course you have every right to park up, be upset and spend an hour crying, but sometimes you have to think about what the best course of action would be as opposed to the most justifiable.
Here are some things to think about and questions to ask yourself in order to rediscover what you want and help yourself realign back on to that path.
Spend time asking yourself, “what do I actually want?“
And by spend time, I actually mean create the time to do it. Don’t try to squeeze this into a day full of errands. Carve out time during your week to journal on this, or to think through it whilst you’re on a walk.
Once you’ve thought through what you actually want (and believe me, most of us know – we’re often just afraid to pursue it), then spend some more time looking at what you’re actually pursuing.
What do you spend your time on?
Where does your energy go?
What do you allow into your space or even your mind?
Once you’ve listed these, compare the two and see if they match up.
The results might shock you but don’t be afraid of this. It’s better to have data in front of you that you can use to bring change about instead of burying your head in the sand living in denial.
A good thing to do at this point of the year is also to list out what you’re proud of doing. This can also be a good pointer to what you actually want to do. Reassess what you’ve done so far that makes you proud, or happy, or feel accomplished. That’s probably where you need to focus more energy…
It’s key to be able to reconnect to what’s actually important to you. This is beyond what you’ve been told should be important to you. What do you actually value? Is it healthy friendships? Is it creativity? Romance? Or self-development?
Take some time out to think through what you value. Write them out so you can see it clearly. Then list out things you can do that will help you reconnect to these things.
It’s one thing to rediscover what matters to you but it’s another thing to move other things in your life into alignment with that.
Use the clarity you’ve gotten to implement systems that allow these things to remain incorporated into your life daily or weekly, otherwise you might find yourself forgetting and having to spend mental energy to reconnect to it often. For example, if it’s healthy friendships you want to reconnect to, you could schedule weekly catch-ups or fun activities with the people who matter to you the most.
Ask yourself how the tools that help with the actualisation of a thing can be realigned with what you actually want. For me these are, time, money, energy, and creativity. What do you have at your disposal that can help you get results and how can you cause that to be realigned to what you actually want?
Hopefully this all helps you to think through some things but most importantly, take ownership of your life & your decisions.